COM 352 - Looking for sex in all the wrong places

This is a bit late, but enjoy the quotes I furtively recorded during last semester's COM 352 (Persuasion) class:

• "Part of my job is to grow people." -Professor (whose name I'm omitting to spare him the shame of some of these quotes).
• "Who's that handsome man at the front of the room?" -Student
• "This woman was so darn friendly - she just kept touching us." -Professor
• "Men are impulsive.  Liz knows." -Student    "WHAT?" -Other student
• "Our competitors are testing red slimy pops." -Stupid guy in supermarket video
• "Some people even used the word 'horny.'" -Professor
• "Since you're the birthday girl, we'll let you look at the orgy first." -Professor
• "My lapel says, 'Jump off the Lake Street Bridge!'" -Professor
• "You've got a pickle thing going on there...I'll let you be." -Professor
• "We'll be studying Josh's body language." -Professor
• "Love that word - 'arouse.'" -Professor
• "There's just songs in my heart today...trying to get them out.  Maybe there's a drug I can take." -Professor
• "Heaven forbid we be dependent on anything, like those A-rabs." -Professor
• What's Marxism? -Student
• "That's an excellent choice of food." -Student
• "Waitron." -Professor
• "If you don't show up to class on Wednesday, you'll contract AIDS and die." -Professor
• "I want POWER!" -Professor
• "We need to have our egos stroked." -Professor
• "We all need someone to love.  The Snuggle Bear, Ronald McDonald..." -Professor
• "Sex doesn't always sell.  It depends on how you do it." -Professor
• "I hope I get a lingering illness." -Professor
• "No one looks at that and says, 'Oh jeez, I can have sex with all those girls?'" -Professor
• "Do I need help?" -Student    "You need many help." -Other student
• "We need to be independent of those A-rabs." -Professor
• "It's death day here.  I'm having a theme." -Professor
• "I love windpants! Swish swish swish..." -Student
• "Who just got airbagged?" -Professor
• "You can drive to Japan and back." -Professor   "Nooooo..." -Student
• "Groups can make riskier decisions than individuals." -Professor   "So individuals don't feel responsible for their decisions when they're in a group?" -Student    "So we should just have dictators?" -Other student    "That's the lesson learned from [Professor]." -Other student
• "I was going to say 'erect,' but that's the wrong word." -Professor
• "I want my ear pierced.  I want my...something else pierced." -Professor
• "None of you have kids, right?" -Professor   "Not that I know of." -Student
• "It brought out the best of us, and blah blah blah." -Professor
• "What would I do without you? I'd manage." -Professor, to a student
• "There was a crusty old guy sitting across the way." -Professor
• "I think I'm having a stroke." -Professor
• "Give her an Amish smock or something." -Professor
• "You should sit around and contemplate your navel sometimes." -Professor
• "Climax sounds good for reasons...well...let's not go there." -Professor
• "Auggies are...anorexic." -Professor, on Augsburg's marketing campaign
• "What you hope to get is penetration...[giggle]." -Professor
• "In the penetration stage...what happens in the penetration stage?" -Professor
• "How would you measure happiness?" -Professor    "Smiles-per-hour." -Student
• "Throw some puppies at 'em." -Student
• "Get outta my head, Garth!" -Professor
• "I don't want you to be premature." -Professor
• "I just got the sudden urge to take off my shirt." -Student
• "Seattle? Oregon's a pretty progressive state!" -Student   "Except Seattle's in Washington." -Other student
• "Look at your 'p' and you'll be fine." -Professor
• "I do all kinds of inappropriate things all the time." -Professor
• "I tried waffling, but I didn't enjoy it." -Professor
• "You can check him out, too, if you want." -Professor, about an adjunct applicant
• "What I was a wee lad..." -Professor
• "If I had a screwdriver, I could build you a beautiful cabinet, or I could gouge your eyes out." -Professor
• "When you get old, you put your feet up and reminisce about the past...'I'm ready to go now.'" -Professor
• "It's really hard to rip off an ATM nowadays." -Student
• "Maybe you could play strip ethics." -Professor
• "If you get rid of that stutter and get a little plastic surgery..." -Professor
• "Let Kristen use her PowerPoints...Just wait a minute, I have to go out and feed my horse." -Professor
• "I've been talking to myself a lot lately." -Professor
• "I was a little more interested in [this girl] because we shared the same birthday." -Student
• "Low-balling...that sounds awful." -Professor
• "I have my first roadside sobriety test this summer...more on that later." -Professor
• "All Jews should know this." -Professor
• "WhatEVER." -Professor, with serious attitude
• "We gotta find a way to make this guy's ball part of our marketing strategy." -Professor
• "Adopt the ball." -Marketing video
• "Laundry detergent is pretty much laundry detergent." -Professor    "Wellll..." -Student
• "HUGO! Hehehe." -Professor
• "Heather, you're looking for sex in all the wrong places." -Professor
• "I'm not here to offend you." -Professor