"Good Communist potatoes."
"I think we need to agree on how we're going to use this banana."
"I just wanna throw some dead animals!"
"Is that a penis?"
"It's kind of fun to look at global catastrophes."
"This is a new and exciting one!"
-Professor Butkowski on invasive species
"It looks like dynamite."
-Ali, about a part of the spinal cord
"I'm never doing illegal drugs or anal intercourse again."
"My sister's going to be a dermatologist--she'll give me lots of Botox. It'll be OK."
-Jen, about tanning a lot
"There is no such thing as energy."
-Professor Engebretson, before giving us a lab on energy
"So should I have just put acid in my eye?"
"What about the Everglades?"
"Those are in Florida."
"Can I leave ten minutes early?"
"I need a bribe."
"Maybe in ten years, it won't be a duck's world."
"I think in the next iteration of this class, we should call it 'How to Be a Terrorist.'"
"Let's go kick their butt!"
-Sam about Canada and their pollution
"You can find that online, too."
-Professor Kunz, about how to make bombs
"Now I feel like I'm back to terrorist class."
"Maybe their species sucks."
"Rocks. [hysterical laughter]"
"I'm gonna phone-a-friend."
-Professor Butkowski, trying to answer a question
"We only behead two-time offenders."
"How close are you to the chemical plant? The one that's going to burn down net week?"
"You're just scaring people now."
"Yes, I am. [grin]"
"Sooner or later, there's going to be a pandemic. It's just a question of whether or not this is the one."
-Professor Butkowski, trying to quell Sam's fears of the Swine Flu
"Press F7. That deletes everything."
"We have permission to skip this one."
-Professor Butkowski about a slide in his own presentation